The Gift of Access
As I heave past the revolving doors and walk up the lobby, I notice seats filled with men and women, all of various ethnicities and from various social classes. They all wore the distinct restlessness of people waiting uncomfortably but trying not to appear so. It still surprises me; the sheer number of people who turn up for our volunteer counselling program on a daily basis.
I walked purposefully toward the barriers beyond which stood the various offices where the counsellors would at this moment be preparing their files and notebooks, getting coffee and straightening up their appearances to receive the first client out of the sea of people waiting outside. Plastering a cordial but cool professional smile on my face, I met a few people's eyes as I approached the barriers. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my pass and swiped it. Barriers opening, I walked into a different chapter of my story for the day.
Access. What is access? It is the pass that lets one in where others are not allowed. At your favourite coffee shop, there are barriers separating you from the exclusive staff area. In the bank, you stand behind a counter or are invited into a closed office for a meeting, but by no means are you allowed behind the counter to attend to other clients. There are places where you have great access and areas where your access is minimal. What creates access? Usually a variety of factors, including qualification (or 'the right') and trustworthiness.
In our personal lives, we have people whom we naturally look to: these include parents, siblings, elders within our communities, mentors, etc. These people usually have access to us that goes without saying. We also have other people like coworkers, friends, confidants, the lady who has ridden the same bus with us over the last two years and whom we have slowly developed a rapport and friendship with. The position a person occupies in your life and heart usually determines what kind of access they will have to you. The position is usually based on your experiences of and with the person, and how they fit your often subconscious requirements of trustworthiness. Some friends come into our houses and take their shoes off at the door, ask for a glass of water, ask to please turn the heating up, seat on the sofa and chat with us until it's time to leave. Some friends come to our houses and make themselves comfortable, go make themselves a salad form our kitchen and grab our TV remote control to channel surf. Some friends have spare copies of our house keys, bring us furniture or items of decoration which they found while shopping and thought would fit our aesthetic, they tell up when our breath stinks, they recommend cleaning products for the mould on our bathroom wall and crash on our sofa for a whole week, helping us prepare the nursery for our new baby's arrival.
However, when does access get too much? And what do you do when it does? Do your friends sometimes abuse the gift of access you give to them? Do they recognise it as the gift that it is?
Find out in my next post!
Bon Chance!
I walked purposefully toward the barriers beyond which stood the various offices where the counsellors would at this moment be preparing their files and notebooks, getting coffee and straightening up their appearances to receive the first client out of the sea of people waiting outside. Plastering a cordial but cool professional smile on my face, I met a few people's eyes as I approached the barriers. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my pass and swiped it. Barriers opening, I walked into a different chapter of my story for the day.
Access. What is access? It is the pass that lets one in where others are not allowed. At your favourite coffee shop, there are barriers separating you from the exclusive staff area. In the bank, you stand behind a counter or are invited into a closed office for a meeting, but by no means are you allowed behind the counter to attend to other clients. There are places where you have great access and areas where your access is minimal. What creates access? Usually a variety of factors, including qualification (or 'the right') and trustworthiness.
In our personal lives, we have people whom we naturally look to: these include parents, siblings, elders within our communities, mentors, etc. These people usually have access to us that goes without saying. We also have other people like coworkers, friends, confidants, the lady who has ridden the same bus with us over the last two years and whom we have slowly developed a rapport and friendship with. The position a person occupies in your life and heart usually determines what kind of access they will have to you. The position is usually based on your experiences of and with the person, and how they fit your often subconscious requirements of trustworthiness. Some friends come into our houses and take their shoes off at the door, ask for a glass of water, ask to please turn the heating up, seat on the sofa and chat with us until it's time to leave. Some friends come to our houses and make themselves comfortable, go make themselves a salad form our kitchen and grab our TV remote control to channel surf. Some friends have spare copies of our house keys, bring us furniture or items of decoration which they found while shopping and thought would fit our aesthetic, they tell up when our breath stinks, they recommend cleaning products for the mould on our bathroom wall and crash on our sofa for a whole week, helping us prepare the nursery for our new baby's arrival.
However, when does access get too much? And what do you do when it does? Do your friends sometimes abuse the gift of access you give to them? Do they recognise it as the gift that it is?
Find out in my next post!
Bon Chance!
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